If you saw last night’s debate, and you agree with the stuff they said, go to “U MORON” 30330.
The following is “Satirical”
It was almost so sudden, yet so familiar. Was I really in the mood to watch another two hours of presidential debate that made “Hee Haw” and “Celebrity Boxing” seem more entertaining? No, I had to be kidding myself, there was no way in the world I would sit through another mind-numbing session featuring some of the most wack job collectivists out there. Sadly, before I knew it, it was too late. Bill De Blasio was already talking about his personal experience, which we should all consider to be inherently “credible.” I mean who wouldn’t right?
After Bill, there was that one guy from Colorado. Nobody can remember his name, but you probably remember his extremely full eyebrows and his recently “Botox injected” facial subject matter. As of this morning, Senator Michael Bennet probably won’t be attending the next debate, because he’s polling at 0%.
Following Senator Bennet there was Governor Jay Inslee, but he only wanted to talk about climate change and how little he knew about it. Which is exactly why he is also polling at 0%.
Fourthly, there was that Florida Senator Kristen Gillibrand, who would have had more success auditioning for the next Barbie movie than she ever would attempting to run for president. Unfortunately Gillibrand is also polling at 0%, which means she better start looking for another way to spread her message of femininity.
Then there was poor Tulsi Gabbard, a war hero from the “Aloha State”, but she wasn’t “left” enough for the rest of the gang of Democrats, so now she’s on a plane back to Hawaii with 0% in the polls as well.
Oh dear, it seems we have lost a couple candidates already. Now begins the kissing of donors asses for a couple more bucks in soft money before plummeting into “drop out” canyon. “You better listen” Mayor De Blasio, if you want to make it to the next debate you better start saying stuff worth listening to!
Overall, here are the Democratic candidates suspected to survive till the next debate.
- Former Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr.
- Senator Cory Booker of New Jersey
- Mayor Pete Buttigieg of South Bend, Ind.
- Senator Kamala Harris of California
- Former Representative Beto O’Rourke of Texas
- Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont
- Senator Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts
With sleepy Uncle Joe leading the race, its seems the exact intersectionality profile the Democrats claim is haunting the Oval Office with racism and hate will probably be their nominee. But, if poor old Joe does end up having Parkinson’s disease or something, we will still have Mr. Potato Head (Cory Booker), or at least Pocahontas (Elizabeth Warren).
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